Well now that we’ve all been gagged by All Stars 4's Emmy award winning editing, I felt like writing a loving, reflective piece on where I thought the season sits alongside the rest of the RPDR canon. Because if there are two things I love in this world they are ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ and listing things. Seriously, I will unironically watch dozens of WatchMojo videos in one sitting without even flinching. I think Channel 5’s annual ‘Most Shocking Celebrity Moments’ is better than Game of Thrones and I’m actually not kidding. So yeah, read this. Or don’t, I don’t care, I haven’t got much on today, I’m not losing sleep over your opinions, mom.
14. Season 1
C'mon vaseline lens! Season 1 is finally on Netflix and should be studied like an ancient text. It's low budge, a bit all over the place and grimy af. Shout out to that ladder that's often in shot and everything that Shannel and Tammie say and do.
Challenges: 5/10
Queens: 7/10
Snatch Game: Soz hun
The Winner: Yeah, Bebe's great
Fave Queen: Tammie Brown
Lip Sync: Tammie vs. her inner saboteur
Least fave Queen: Jade? idc really
The gag of the season: Shannel's speech to the judges
13. All Stars 1
The BEST cast, the WORST format, All Stars 1 is bizarre. I totally understand wanting to flip the script and serve a different kind of competition but this was not the way to do it. The teams thing is cute for a challenge but when it meant fan favourites are getting sent to the house (thanks for that phrase, Shangela) because of someone else’s fuck up it felt unfair. The challenges were bizarre as well, that hidden camera situation? The not-really-Snatch-Game-but-might-as-well-be thing? Nope. No thanks, not having it. The cast was stellar though and it did give us that ***iconic*** Untucked fight with Mimi. All Stars 1: Part 2: The Remix anyone?
Challenges: 3/10
Queens: 9/10
Snatch Game: umm…
The Winner: Fine? I like Chad, he bout to die so I guess ru wanted him to be happy
Fave Queen: Tammie Brown
Lip Sync: Raven v Juju
Least fave Queen: Pandora Boxx
The gag of the season: “Change your costume, Mimi! Change it arouuuund!”
12. Season 8
Meh. After Season 7’s lacklustre run, Season 8 needed to really pop and it just kinda fell flat. We got a great winner in Bob but we knew we were going to get a great winner in Bob from episode 1. There just wasn’t a lot of drama, twists or tomfoolery this season and that Elimi-Naysha Lopez phone call cop-out was dumb and dull. Don’t get me wrong, Chi Chi and Naomi’s growth arcs were great and I was really rooting for the pair of them but they never really stood a chance against Bob, which made their storylines kinda redundant. The cast wasn’t super strong and included the likes of Derrick “there's a hem” Barry and Little Miss White Dreads herself, Thorgy Thor. If only cultural appropriation and bitterness equated to challenge wins, babe. Even fan favourites like Naomi and Kim are essentially just ‘Look Queens’ and I don’t want them back on an All Stars season for that reason, I can just like, go on Instagram.
Challenges: 6/10
Queens: 6/10
Snatch Game: 5/10
The Winner: Great
Lip Sync: Chi Chi v Thorgy
Fave Queen: Chi Chi DeVayne
Least fave Queen: Derrick Barry & Thorgy Thor
The gag of the season: Chi Chi’s BEADS, bitch
11. Season 3
Season 3 gave us gags and drama but as a whole, cohesive season, its kind of a slog. It’s really, really long. Honestly, try and watch it all in a day like I did. Towards the end there were a lot of non-eliminations, pointless returns and a lot, a lot of sewing challenges. It looks and feels tiring. The cast were good, the winner is great, Mimi is messy and Shangela does not have a Sugar Daddy, but all in all? There are better seasons.
Challenges: 5/10
Queens: 7/10
Snatch Game: 5/10
The Winner: Regal, gorgeous, amazing
Fave Queen: Raja
Least fave Queen: Venus D’Lite
Lip Sync: Manila v Delta omg
The gag of the season: Sugar Daddy? Who told this bitch Shangela had a Sugar Daddy?
10. Season 7
Season 7 is such a mixed bag. It gave us my angel, my everything, Katya, a fierce winner in Violet and some absolute meme queens (Jasmine/ Trixie) but as a whole it’s… meh. This is largely due to fan favourites not being quite on form at the time and Ru giving preference to dickpiggery over actual talent (soz Pearl). Also, a large part of the cast are hugely forgettable; Tempest, Kasha, Jaidyn, Sasha, Max, Kandy etc. are dulllllllll and even Queens who lasted a little longer (Fame/Ginger) aren’t actually that much fun. It basically all boils down to a cast full of Look Queens trapped in a season of constant, cringey acting challenges. Pass.
Challenges: 5/10
Queens: 6/10
Snatch Game: 7/10
The Winner: At the time I was iffy now I’m like yaaas bitch slay me, she fucking deserved it
Fave Queen: Katya
Lip Sync: Katya v Kennedy
Least fave Queen: Kandy Ho
The gag of the season: Violet’s autumnal reveal are you kidding
9. All Stars 3
Oh All Stars 3, you had the toughest act to follow and you very, very prematurely shot your load. I understand we’re on VH1 now and it’s all about the dollars but they should have waited another couple of years. No one wanted another All Stars so quickly, let the dust settle and wait for some more actual All Stars to come through the race. I mean, Milk. Seriously? Is anyone surprised this season flopped? A limp cast of All Stars 2 leftovers with a re-tread of All Stars 2’s twist elimination setup meant this season was always going to be in last season's shadow. Also, no one’s favourite thing about last time was the elimination set up unless you're a Roxxxy fan (so no one). We had some great moments and some fabulous glo-ups (Aja/ Shangela) but bringing the patron saints of bitterness and arrogance, Thorgy and Milk, back coupled with THAT finale scandal? Nope. All Stars 4 in 2022 please and bring Willam back you fuckos.
Challenges: 8/10 (to be FAIR. That Bachelor challenge was one of the best of all Drag Race. More improv pleaseeeee)
Queens: 6/10
Snatch Game: 4/10
The Winner: Not a bitch alive doesn't think Shangela was robbed
Fave Queen: Aja
Lip Sync: I know it was a challenge but Kitty Girl was phenom
Least fave Queen: THORGY THOR
The gag of the season: I’m not choosing Dela. I’m choosing everything Aja said and did.
8. Season 10
Go home, Dusty. Season 10 has the strongest start but ultimately limps over the finish line in the end. Some great challenges, some truly awful challenges, some great queens and the worst queen of all time (Eureka). So, yeah, it's a mixed bag. The first season to properly address the fandom's race problem and then... eliminate all of the likeable, strong black queens and crown another pretty white girl. Lol. Long live the Vixen tbh.
Challenges: 7/10
Queens: 7/10
Snatch Game: 5/10
The Winner: By the end.. sure, give it to Aquaria. Asia deserved it a lot more though (RIP those butterflies)
Fave Queen: Monique Heart
Lip Sync: Monet x Dusty is FANTASTIC
Least fave Queen: EUREKA
The gag of the season: Vixen v Rupaul. Dreadful.
7. Season 9
After a middling Seasons 7 and 8, 9 brought it back to a nice standard. It was RuPaul’s Best Friend Race alright but we had enough Drag Race magic to keep it afloat. Who can forget Maskgate, So Emotional or that time Alexis Michelle inexplicably dressed up as Princess Fiona? Season 9 also had the added benefit of being the first full season to be completely RuCapped (Lee Dawson, I love you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtjOPUAUrg8) Great Queens, a great winner, a great finale twist, a dumb villain (even though she almost went blind stoning this). I’d like to keep it on please.
Challenges: 7/10
Queens: 7/10
Snatch Game: 5/10
The Winner: YAAAAS
Fave Queen: Sasha
Lip Sync: So Emotional FUCK
Least fave Queen: Alexis Michelle lol
The gag of the season: The goddamn rose petals kill me
6. Season 2
I love Season 2, as a not-watching-Season-1 truther, it’s the original season. The first Snatch game, the first reading challenge, the first acting challenge; it’s basically the prototype for the what the show is now. Season 2 is also in the days of Drag Race anonymity so it feels raw (in several ways lol), no one gave a fuck how the public perceived them and they absolutely went for each other. Raven v Tatianna, Morgan v Mystique, Tyra v everyone, it was all golden. There were a few missteps (Cherry Pie, anyone?) but it’s a great season with some golden moments. Also, Tyra deserved to win, fight me.
Challenges: 7/10
Queens: 8.5/10
Snatch Game: 6/10 (completely saved by Tati tbh)
The Winner: Tyra is a complete bitch, but she deserved it.
Fave Queen: Jessica Wild
Lip Sync: Morgan v Sonique
Least fave Queen: Merle Ginsberg
The gag of the season: I still find it so weird and shocking when Nicole Paige Brooks says ‘malicious gay faggotry’ hahaha)
5. Season 4
Season 4 tho. Phi Phi, Sharon, Willam, Latrice, it’s a stelllllar cast. Past like episode 5 though, seriously, all the early outs were busted and forgettable. Season 4 marked the ‘change’ in Drag Race, from just being about classic pageantry to giving the weirdos a go with its Phi Phi v Sharon conflict and Sharon’s ultimate win. Although why drag Phi Phi all the way to the finale? She was never going to win, it does seem kind of cruel in retrospect. She just needs a sit down and a cup of tea really. Sharon paved the way for Queens like Sasha to come in down the line and give us a whiff of the ever-elusive ‘future of drag’, whatever that is (as long as it’s not just Milk skating around Thorgy playing the violin I’m down). Gags, drama, fuckery, Willam, Season 4 has it all.
Challenges: 8/10
Queens: 8/10
Snatch Game: 8/10
The Winner: Yup. Down with it. When in doubt, freak em out
Fave Queen: Willam
Lip Sync: I’m big into that weird Latrice v Kenya moment
Least fave Queen: The Princess? Alisa? Milan? Ugh.
The gag of the season: Willam’s exit and subsequent return to come for Phi Phi in the reunion.
4. All Stars 4
Fuck you, I liked it. Honestly the talent show was a mess (minus Gia) and the last couple of episodes were a bit awkward and painful (STOP with the shit acting challenges for fucks sake) but it's a super entertaining season. Gia Gunn is delicious television and all of her little asides are golden "that beautiful little bitch got lucky today", the entire cast are extremely likeable and most of the challenges are fun. I am still furious that Naomi got as much screen time as Stacey and that literally none of the challenges were designed with her in mind (Where is the ball??? A design challenge? Hello?) but her eliminating the front runner was fabulous. Also, special shout out for Valentina for living that telenovela fantasy in the most bizarre way possible. Gorgeous. And honestly, the ending was sloppy but both queens are fab in different ways and fully deserve it. Fight me.
Challenges: 7/10
Queens: 9/10
Snatch Game: 6/10
The Winner: You know what, they're both great. But honestly you could have crowned any of them and I'd have been happy.
Fave Queen: Gia fucking Gunnnnnn (and Naomi)
Lip Sync: Gia x Naomi for absolute sure
Least fave Queen: The editors
The gag of the season: Bye, bye Manila
3. Season 5
If Season 4 was Pageant Queens v ‘Outside the Box’ Queens, Season 5 is Pageant Queens v Comedy Queens with Jinkxybaby versus my top Drag Race villain of all time, evil incarnate; Roxxxy Andrews. What a piece of shit. Whereas Phi Phi is clearly erratic and went around menacing solo, Roxxxy was smarmy, entitled and menaced in a pack. Rolaskatox is a Drag Race low moment for me, parts of this season actually become hard to watch back because it’s just straight up bullying. On the flipside, Jinkx is fabulous throughout and absolutely brings it, Ivy is a sweetie and Coco and Alyssa are doing…whatever they’re doing, probably summoning an ancient demonic presence, idk. 5 is peak Drag Race drama and gives us some of the best Queens in the show’s history, there’s a reason it was 5 from 5 in All Stars 2 (although I personally could have just done with Alyssa and Alaska tbh).
Challenges: 8/10
Queens: 8/10
Snatch Game: 8/10
The Winner: Jinkx overcoming Roxxxy and declaring it ‘Monsoon season’ as ‘the Beginning’ plays? Yes. Absolutely. I enjoyed that, thanks.
Fave Queen: Alyssa Edwards
Lip Sync: Alyssa v Coco
Least fave Queen: ROXXXY ANDREWS
The gag of the season: When Jinkx takes out one of Rolaskatox in the last lipsync and then takes it home entirely. Yes bitch.
2. Season 6
UUHHHHHH Season 6, the best numbered season by a long shot. Literally everyone (except for Sar- Magnolia) brought it. Even early outs like Kelly and Vivacious had their moments. But this CAST; April and Milk turned lewks, Gia and Laganja invented a whole new language, Darienne gave us reads, Dela gave us Maggie Smith, Courtney gave us team talent, Joslyn asked Cher’s mum if she was happy she didn’t have an abortion, Adore and Trinity were the heart and soul and Bianca murdered everyone including Ru, Michelle, Santino and all the Pit Crew. It’s just so, so good. Laganja’s meltdowns, Bianca and Adore’s friendship, a gorgeous Snatch Game, there’s never a dull moment.
Challenges: 9/10
Queens: 10/10
Snatch Game: 9/10
The Winner: Absolutely here for it, she was incredible.
Fave Queen: Adore Delano
Lip Sync: Laganja v Joselyn tbh
Least fave Queen: At the time, Laganja, in retrospect – Magnolia?
The gag of the season: I FEEL VERY ATTACKED
1. All Stars 2
The only season to top the dizzying heights of 6 is this. All Stars 2 was 4 years in the making and (unlike AS3) came at just the right time, with the right amount of current fan favourites coming through the race. Look at it, you have; an AMAZING cast, great challenges, the best Snatch Game ever, lipsyncs that make ya scream, the OG villain, a deliiiicious comeback episode, tomfoolery, riggory, fashion, callbacks, memes, quotes, that one vine of Alyssa in half-Annie Oakley drag pretending to be a spy. Everything. Best season ever. Crown it.
Challenges: 9/10
Queens: 10/10
Snatch Game: 10/10
The Winner: I was #TeamKatya but I’m totally fine with it
Fave Queen: Katya/Alyssa
Lip Sync: TATIANNA V ALYSSA R U KIDDIN
Least fave Queen: Ginger “I would have volunteered to go home anyway” Minj
The gag of the season: The MIRROR