It can sometimes be a burden having the only correct opinions in the world, but in this instance it has allowed me to create this objective top ten list of the best films of the decade. I don't make the rules, I just make fantastic listicle content that Buzzfeed can only dream about.
10. Raw (2016)
If your favourite film trope is the classic "young vegetarian girl resorts to cannibalism due to a particularly onerous freshers week", you're actually going to love Raw. It's very that. For me, Raw is the jewel in the French extremist genre's crown, coming in the wake of genre-bending hell rides like Martyrs but with a pointed feminist message about adolescence. It's gorgeously directed, disturbing and possibly the most relatable film on this list. I'm just kidding I promise I've never eaten anyone.
9. Shoplifters (2018)
Christ. If you love pissing tears out your eyes, go see Shoplifters. A quietly beautiful film about family and the burden of being an outsider. Every single shot is drawn with love and care and every character beat is layered and realistic. The idea of family is so intrinsic to Japanese culture and Shoplifters skews this idea and asks us to consider what family truly means. This is a film about love, kindness, depth and the failures of society. And that beach scene. Gah. Gorgeous.
8. The Killing Of A Sacred Deer (2017)
My favourite moment in this film is Nicole Kidman getting naked and lying on the bed in front of Colin Farrell in an act of 'come on bby' and he looks at her and just turns off the lamp and goes to sleep. It's the most achingly 'left on read' moment of the decade and I screamed. The Killing of a Sacred Deer for me, builds on everything I loved about the Lobster and is far more challenging and strange than The Favourite. For me, it is the Yorgos film of the decade.
7. Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (2018)
Fuck you. Yeah I know. It's a superhero movie but fuck me if this isn't an absolute masterwork of a film. Without a doubt this is one of the most creative animated films ever made; it fully uses the form and plays, subverts and fucks with it time and time again. For me, Phil Lord and Chris Miller are some of the best writers/directors working in animated films at the moment. Their films are weird, funny and full of heart and this is the best of the best. Miles is my true born son, and a fantastic protag, the music is phenomenal, the style is exhilarating. The 'Whats Up Danger' scene is one of the most triumphant and beautifully created scenes in cinema. Fight me. It's incredible.
6. Annihilation (2018)
Natalie takes on nature in a film that would make David Attenborough explode and flowers come out. I love that the essential threat of this film isn't necessarily evil, it's just different. An alien that is just trying to exist, just as we are. Nothing is destroyed, only changed. It's a phenomenally pretty film with a strange and soaring score. I deeply loved it and the bear scene is one of the most creative horror sequences ever made. A hypnotic dream of a film. And Oscar Isaac can get it.
5. Her (2013)
Her is one of three very different sci-fi films Scarlett did in 2013. Back when Scarlett was only quietly awful in real life. Her is the melancholic, emotional zinger of the three. A film that makes me feel deeply sad, puzzled and hopeful all at once. I know Spike Jonze is pretentiousness personified but for me this skates past that categorisation straight into a cozy coma of triumph. A meditation on love and loneliness with a gorgeous pastel colour palette and a soul aching soundtrack. I adored it.
4. Tangerine (2015)
Possibly the most arresting and urgent film on this list, Tangerine bursts with heart and energy. All shot on an iPhone (iconic), it's essentially just one very long, beautiful and funny Instagram story. The casting is perfect and truth pours out of every frame.
3. You Were Never Really Here (2018)
TWO Joaquin films in one list. This is before he personally offended me and made the Joker so I'll allow it. Lynne Ramsay is the most talented British filmmaker of our times, I stand by that. Such a mesmeric film, thin on plot and dialogue but a fascinating study on violence and what it means to be human. The scene where the two hit men hold hands and quietly murmur a song on the floor as one dies from the other's gunshot? Astounding. More from Lynne immediately please.
2. Lady Bird (2018)
Fuck me I love this film. Greta Gerwig has quickly established such a recognisable style and I'm just here lapping it up like a thirsty little gay idiot (Little Women is similarly fantastic). The central mother/daughter relationship is one of the most authentic portrayals I've ever seen and both characters surge with life and vibrancy. Lady Bird herself is a fantastic, flawed protagonist, admirably headstrong and a joy to watch. Saorsie Ronan is utterly fantastic in the role, eating up the similarly fantastically written script. A joy, a JOY.
1. Under The Skin (2013)
Truly one of the most unique and disturbing films I've ever seen. It's quite possibly one of my favourite films ever made. I defy anyone to sit through Under The Skin and not feel like they've been run over by a lorry (or at the very least, a quadbike). Dialogue-light, atmosphere-heavy, Jonathan Glazer has created something so uniquely unnerving and devastating here. The alien's slow burning sense of humanity forms before our eyes over the course of the film, from that devastating scene on the beach to the final scenes in the woods. An unflinching, terrifying, utterly fascinating piece of art. Under The Skin is like nothing else.
HELL TIMELINE
1. Cats (2019)
Cats is objectively one of the worst films I've ever seen yet it's had the greatest cultural impact on my life out of anything I've ever experienced. It is like watching a ps2 cutscene at your cousin's house for 18 hours whilst a feral jack russell eats your brain. I now long to be the jellicle choice, crave it, even. It is truly the film for our times: completely nonsensical and insane, profoundly poorly made, outrageously expensive, utterly disgusting to experience and inexplicably includes James Corden. I loved it. I now listen to the Jellicle Cats song at full volume almost every day and I can NOT stop. I know my brain is corrupted and I will die very soon but I don't care. Cats is the nuclear apocalypse of films; everyone is petrified of it but you will come to blissfully accept it in time. A film where every single disgusting character pleads to be the one to be chosen to die in every scene. Are we not like the cats? Are we not also tiny, furry creatures from hell with giant, empty breasts? We are all just waiting for the end and when it comes I just want someone to whisper to me in Judi Dench-cat's voice "oh well I never... was there ever... a cat so clever... as magical Mr. Mistofelees..." and I will make a horny human-cat purr and I will finally, mercifully die.
Special Shout Out:
My girl.